Pour one out for the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID)—not for its achievements, but for finally being put out of its taxpayer-funded misery.

As of Tuesday, USAID—once the darling of globalist bureaucrats and professional do-gooders—has officially been dissolved and absorbed into the Department of State by order of President Donald J. Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). The agency’s long-overdue dismantling follows years of wasteful spending on progressive pet projects that had little to do with actual development and everything to do with exporting woke ideology abroad.

Gone are the days of Peruvian transgender comic books, Irish DEI musicals, and other ridiculous grants that made USAID a punchline rather than a partner in real diplomacy. Its replacement? A new office titled America First, signaling a much-needed return to results-driven foreign policy and an end to taxpayer-funded leftist experiments in overseas “equity.”

But leave it to the Axis of Disappointment—Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and self-appointed global savior Bono—to turn USAID’s funeral into a Zoom wake of self-congratulation and melodrama.

In a “closed-press” video sendoff that was anything but closed (thanks to sympathetic leaks to The New York Times and Associated Press), the three public figures mourned the agency’s demise with tears, platitudes, and poetry—the preferred language of the Beltway elite when actual accountability comes knocking.

Obama, still clinging to the failed legacy of his foreign policy, called the closure “a colossal mistake,” claiming, “Your work has mattered and will matter for generations to come.” He even had the audacity to compare USAID’s termination to a national tragedy, warning that it “hurts the most vulnerable, and it hurts the United States.”

Coming from the man who said “if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor,” it’s hard to take such pronouncements at face value.

Bush, whose presidency helped balloon USAID’s reach, leaned into sentimentalism over substance: “You’ve showed the great strength of America through your work — and that is your good heart.” This from the man who now cozies up to the political establishment while his former voters watch in dismay.

And then there was Bono, the human embodiment of empty celebrity activism, who showed up dressed like a rejected cast member of The Matrix and recited a poem as if he were auditioning for a TED Talk on “feelings.”

“They called you crooks — when you were the best of us, there for the rest of us,” he intoned, before adding: “It’s not left-wing rhetoric to feed the hungry, heal the sick. If this isn’t murder, I don’t know what is.”

No word from Bono on the $500,000 USAID grant for Caribbean reef DEI training or the Ukrainian drag theatre initiative. But sure, it’s “murder” not to fund it.

If there was any doubt left about why USAID had to go, its final act of self-importance sealed the case. An agency that once claimed to promote stability and prosperity abroad had long since transformed into a vehicle for exporting cultural radicalism under the American flag. Under President Trump’s leadership, the DOGE finally pulled the plug—and not a moment too soon.

The new America First office will require measurable outcomes, national interest alignment, and actual accountability—concepts foreign to USAID's bloated, virtue-signaling culture.

Let Bono write another poem. Let Obama and Bush weep. Meanwhile, Americans who believe in limited government, fiscal responsibility, and putting U.S. interests first are celebrating a rare and refreshing victory.